Time was never only about hours and days and years, not even minutes. It’s about movements, breathing in and out, moments that change your life and moments that push you forward. You discover that even stuck in the same bubble, you are not the same person anymore. That the image you have about yourself and the self that exists are complementary, but not identical anymore.
You panic and you clean your closet again, maybe even scrub the bathroom. Just because you hope the room symmetry will match your inner self. It never does. They did tell us that we will grow and change, but failed to mention the restless nights, the inability to breathe or the look in the mirror, when you realise you it’s not “you” anymore.
They didn’t tell us that “the journey to discover yourself” is painted with doubts, wrong decisions and a quantity of alcohol that should scare anyone. No one told us that music will hurt different and the brave choices don’t belong to us anymore.
No one told us that we won’t be able to play the same songs all over again, no one told us that nostalgia doesn’t wait until 60. We knew the stories about things that can’t be changed once they happened, but we were young and all the nights were the same: free and full of dreams.
They didn’t tell us that it’s alright to make mistakes and it’s alright to be scared. “You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders” they should have said.
They forgot to tell us that fitting in it’s not necessary, but just an option. They should have told us that it’s fine to stray from the path from time to time, even if you’re not staying true to you, because this is how we learn. They should have told us that the pain does go away, but always leaves marks as deep as the melted snow carves the soil. The should have told us that bravery is not only to speak up for yourself, but also about yourself.
They should have told us that no path is the right path, that burdens teach you, just before you let them go.
No one told us that the adulthood is where dreams come to die. We should have asked.